Is it happiness this time around? Is it a consistent, persistent feeling that permeates and exudes itself through every action in my life. Will it last? Can I will myself into the position of seeing a positive outcome and being a beneficial force in the world? I do not know for certain. But this is certainly the closest I’ve come to a determined result. With the experience, wisdom, or naiveté to move forward optimistically, I reach and reach and hope to propagate growth. Not just for now, but until my body dies.
Maybe happiness will never be enough.
Regardless of that idea, there is opportunity for me to do better, to find better, to live better. A smile, carrying the weight and magnificence of thousands of lines of poetry, will live on longer in memory. The ability to affirm anyone’s traits will impact their experience more than any designed project ever could. The underlying communion that occurs in person to person interaction will always stand out above all else, and therefore it is that which requires the most focus and positive attitude.
Is happiness the driver behind these beneficial interactions? Maybe not, maybe it’s just a practiced skill. But I’d like to believe that good words come from a good place, and therefore inherently people are driven to be good. If not, where’s the hope for each other? For me, finding good is what drives me to do good, and to persistently do that well in the face of adversity requires the belief that good is inherent.
And maybe that makes me happy.